Convicts, Soldiers & Missionaries : The "Kobayashi Maru" of Bunks.

 I have always nursed reservations about bunk beds, I think it's a Kobayashi Maru situation.

Think about it, if you are top bunk, you could roll off the bed to the floor, I remember quite well in Jss1, I have had countless experience of waking up on another bed entirely, and finding my bed 3 or 4 mattresses away, the saving grace I had, was based in the simple fact that the dormitory arrangement, put at least 3 bunks together, then a slight space in-between, before the next 2, 3, 4 or 5 bunks, depending on the space available. Back home then, my elder brother and I shared a king size, I still managed to find my leg or arm on his body, the merciless sibling would slap it off in a bid to adjust my sleeping position, but I'll be back with another limb five minutes after. My king size background made surviving or sleeping on bunk beds extremely difficult. I just had to roll, toss and turn, sometimes crawl a mile.

If you've got bottom bunk, you have to deal with idiots, who constantly makes your bed a sitting area, after you have painstakingly made it in the morning, or think about the cow that has to climb to the top bunk, and he uses your bed as a stepping unit to his. Even worse, is that bedweting motherfucker, who has a gallon in his abdominal area, and he douses you in his urinary chemical component. Are we to mention the bloody fool senior student, who wants to take a chill outside in the cool evening breeze, and he believes your bed is the go to option, thus messing your sheets and shit, with no intention or attempt to return the bed? 

Yes you could say top bunks are less troubling, but I will never forget 'Belleti', a ruffian boy who never stopped jumping on bunks, until the day a ceiling fan scared his forehead for life, leaving him with a "head ringer". ("Pokémon fans would understand the reference")

For someone like me, a sleeper agent who needs at least, one acre of bed space to feel comfortable, I believe bunks are for convicts, soldiers and missionaries. If there is one thing they have in common, it's sleeping on a spot, a task once impossible for me.

Dedicated to my Elder Brother

Oduduwa Fatoba alaias Mr Bunk